Spiritual Journey or Spiral?
How to know the difference between healing and learning VS overloading and void filling?
One thing for sure that the yogic approach to life gifts us with is self-awareness, the ability to catch yourself in an act.
I had a moment of realization that I was partaking in the act of the latter rather than the former. Distracting myself and filling up space, albeit with good intention, but taking on so much at once that my brain likely contained the minds equivalent to traffic jams and blaring horns.
To clutter the mind in this way goes entirely against yogic principles. Sometimes yoga narrative gets mish mashed into being all about being the best version of yourself, unfuckwithable, and it’s easy to get swept up in that and call it your spiritual journey.
“YOGA CHITTI VRITTI NIRODHA”
This sutra leads us away from getting caught up in cyclical actions and patterns that serve no real purpose.
To paint the picture, I had 3 notebooks and 1 textbook open and on the go in front of me. Instead of focusing on one thing at a time, I was planning next week’s schedule, messaging clients, class planning meditations and journal prompts and reading over my journal.
On my phone were multiple tabs open, I’d been online putting in offers on armchairs and looking at shelving units to create an altar, with a vision of creating a little sanctuary of my living room. I’d been researching different online courses to consider in varying subjects. Watching an episode of some so-bad-it’s-brilliant dating show and of course doomscrolling through Instagram in between.
All these activities absolutely can serve a good cause; being organised as a way of looking out for your future self, building upon your skill set and/or learning new skills, putting effort into your work, switching off and enjoying some down time with tv watching, bringing fresh energy into your home by redecorating, being inspired by online creators… but in no way should this be all happening within the same time frame!
How many tabs are open in your mind right now?
Meditate upon this and visualise yourself clicking on that little underscore line, knowing you can open them back up when the time is right, and the space isn’t clogged up. What are you left with? Sit with it for even just a minute. Press your hands over your body or relax them into your lap, wherever they natural land, and just be.
Chances are if you have been void filling, you are avoiding something, so this can be triggering. I sat and cried because my body knew I needed to. I allowed the emotion to flow through me until it drew to a close organically, and then I bookmarked it to come back to, for the next time I catch myself in the throws of this quest to be productive, spiralling around in a twister of to-do lists and self-development content.
Remember that your greatest teacher is within you, go inwards often, listen to them.