What does 5 months ish sober feel like?
As I was cleaning my teeth this morning I found myself deep in thought as us humans often do during bathroom rituals. I am currently in the swing of what feels like at least the 5th attempt at saying “girl bye” to the sauce, this time has been the most successful... why though? This was my line of thinking this morning. What have I done differently? Will it last and do I want it to?
The biggest factor for me this time round has been not counting and not labelling. Other times it's been day by day and looking back it was so intrusive and intense. It made me feel stuck and just the opposite of empowered. In hindsight it is mad to look back and think how 3 days without having a glass of wine felt like a win. Dropping the labelling that served no purpose was a weight off, I didn’t want to have to pinpoint my whereabouts on the scale of tee total to sesh monster. Instead of, the outdated and rigid - am I an alcoholic? The question turned into - is alcohol having a negative impact in my life?
For me the answer to the latter was a very obvious yes. So I set out to put together a tool kit and set up a self support system. As a result of my 5 months ish I feel - like a child again, creative, playful and just well impressed by the world around me, at the same time in touch with my grown up self, tuned into and inspired by the world within me.
The rumours are true, the sober life is the lush life! Right now I can’t see myself switching back but that’s not to say I never will, saying never or forever can be intimidating. All I know is what I’m having right here, you can make it a double!